i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize