I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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