Yo dont text me then not text me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
