wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
