she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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