Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
