i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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