Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
