ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
