where am i from again
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so let's talk penis.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
