Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
how does that bad decision feel?
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