pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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