he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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