people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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