I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
