you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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