Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
