He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
