I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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