idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
