i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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