I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
