dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
