Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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