I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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