she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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