Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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