Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
