My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize