..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
