So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
