you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
love makes seman taste better
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
