My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
