Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am available for nakedness
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
