Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize