I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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