is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
