For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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