This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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