i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
