What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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