Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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