I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
