You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize