based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we're making bets on your personal life
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
