If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
