At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
