On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
