Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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