We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
