Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just invented taco cereal.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize