yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
