Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
