remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
