I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
