I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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