Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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