So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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