Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
