bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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