I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
