No more Irish car bombs ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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