the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
