I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I want to fling myself into the sun
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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